So… what do you DO all day?

We do things… and stuff.

28 April 2009 April 28, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 7:09 pm

Alternate title: THIS SUCKS.

Bailey is still sick.  She hasn’t eaten anything substantial since Thursday night.  She went almost 48 hours without vomiting until last night we gave her a couple spoonfuls of beef-flavoured ichiban which promptly came back up.

Steve is sick, too.  His isn’t gastro-intestinal though.  His tonsils and uvula are swollen so badly that the Urgent Care Clinic doctor sent him to the E.R. today.  They tested him for Swine Flu but it is “just” strep throat.  They gave him I.V. antibiotics and he is on the mend.

We ended up taking Bailey to the E.R. on Saturday night because I was worried about dehydration.  Luckily she was okay though.  The doctor said he could give her some oral gravol or give it to her in an I.V.  She thought about it for a second and asked, “is there another option?” Go Bailey!  I was pretty proud of how she advocated for herself.  She ended up getting a shot of gravol instead.

I have thus far avoided both illnesses.  Actually, I think I might have a tiny touch of the gastrointestinal thing.  Every once in awhile I feel woozy and sweaty, and I’ve been napping a lot more than usual.  I wonder if it’s the pregnancy keeping me healthy?  Mostly I am über-stressed.  I barely have enough energy for myself, let alone caring for my sick family and keeping up with the housework.  😦

In happier news, my church got us a kick-ass playpen and a grocery gift card!  That was awesome.  Plus, our birth tub and homebirth supply kit from Mama Goddess came in, so now we are totally prepared.

Okay.  I’m continuing the deep breathing, and trying to take it easy on myself.  Wish us luck.

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25 April 2009 April 25, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 10:07 am

Poor Bailey has been sick.  😦  She suddenly started vomiting yesterday morning, and couldn’t keep anything down–even water.  I think it is food poisoning.  The pharmacist mentioned that a strong sulphur smell is common with food poisoning, and that is definitely present.  Right now it has been 13 hours since she last got sick, so I’m crossing my fingers.

Other than that, the past couple of days has been pretty good. 

Tuesday was my mom’s birthday so we went to Kelly O’Bryan’s for lunch.  That night we went to the Shire Social, and I got henna decorations on my belly.

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Almost done.  She put a secret message from Bailey to the baby in there, too.  (Like my garb?  😛 )

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Bailey/Rosa did some henna on herself.  Jenna/Wrenn (who did my belly) helped a bit, too.

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The finished product.

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Bailey/Rosa did some henna squiggles on Steve/Silvestro’s hand, and Jenna/Wrenn added the scorpions.

Unfortunately, even though I kept the henna on for five hours it still didn’t show up very well.  Steve’s went very dark, and Bailey’s is in-between.

On Wednesday Bailey and I went to a fellow UU member’s home.  She will be taking over the Sunday School for the rest of the year, and wanted some pointers.  She lives in an apartment building downtown, and I realized just how deep my city slicker roots are.  Oh man, I could have sat at her window and looked outside all day.  I love the energy of cities, and the juxtaposition of nature and concrete.  Big box stores with their pathetic trees in a vast parking lot don’t do it for me, but a residential/commercial downtown street lined with apartment buildings, lush trees, flowers, and the occasional lawn?  Beautiful.

On Thursday Joanna (the midwife) came over to check out the apartment, and see where she could set up her emergency equipment.  She didn’t run away screaming when she saw how tiny our space is, so I guess that’s a good sign.  We spent the day cleaning and organizing.  Steve did an enormous amount of work.  He cleaned the inside, outside, and back of the fridge.  He cleaned our balcony.  He even mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned the bathtub! 

Thursday evening we went over to my mom’s.  She fed us, and were able to do the homebirth laundry and the baby’s laundry.  Steve took my foster brother to rapier practice.  Actually, mom did the laundry and “made me” sit on the couch with my feet up, lol!  It was nice to be babied.

Just before dinner I started having some regular contractions.  I was pretty sure it wasn’t the real thing, but I mentioned them to Steve.  They continued for almost an hour and a half.  Steve considered skipping practice, but I told him not to worry.  The happy thing is that I wasn’t scared… I was excited!

Poor Bailey is still complaining of feeling nauseated.  She has kept some water and a few tablespoons of Jello down for about 1.5 hours now, though.  I hope this passes soon.

 

20 April 2009 April 20, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 10:16 pm

4 hours of sleep while 9 months pregnant sucks.  Just so you know.

Yesterday we mostly stayed around the house.  Bailey and Steve ran to the store to buy printer ink, and then later went to get a couple groceries so they could make dinner.

Just as we were finishing dinner my mom stopped by.  She is really happy!  She is dating someone and it seems to be going really well.  It was great to see her.  It is her birthday tomorrow, so we’re going out to lunch with her and her beau.

While she was here we had the Great Peep Jousting/Fencing Tournament of 2009.

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Team Purple

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Team Green

Love the belts!  Bailey made them out of pipe cleaners.  Steve is such a good sport, eh?

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The Peeps… ready with their swords/lances/toothpicks/whatever in my dirty microwave oven.

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The result!  Green won… we think.

After Bailey went to bed last night I cleaned the kitchen, and did some prep work so I could make lasagna today.  Then I dozed for half an hour on the couch and then I couldn’t get back to sleep until nearly 5 a.m.  Then I was up again at 9 a.m.  Lasagna-making went out the window.  So did making a “Big  Sister” T-shirt with Bailey.  😦  It was all I could do to drag my ass to the library and then to Wal-Mart to pick up some necessities.

This evening we went to Sarah’s birthday party.  She had a live band!  Even though we could only go for about an hour, it was really fun.  If any of the pictures that Steve took had turned out I would post one, but alas our camera kind of fails in the night photography department.

Bailey has been keeping busy these days with art projects, although today she played around with her Easy Bake oven and made us some chocolate chip cookies from a recipe she found online.  I think it was this one:

  • 1 tbsp. firmly packed brown sugar
  • 2 tsp. margarine
  • 1/8 tsp. b. powder
  • 1/8 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 tsp. water
  • 3 tbsp. flour
  • 4 tsp chocolate chips

Stir together the sugars and margarine.  Add the b. soda, vanilla, water, and flour, stirring until flour disappears.  Mix in the chocolate chips. Roll the dough between your fingers and make 12 small balls, 1/2″ each.  Place a few balls on a greased and floured sheet or pan with space between them.  Bake 10-12 mins.

I just love the amount of ingredients you need.  Too cute!  And the cookies turned out pretty good.

She has also been on pins and needles waiting for her Auntie T. to give birth.  Today was her due date.  Bailey calls her every day now to see how she is feeling.  🙂

As for me, I am kind of nesting, and I feel like the baby has dropped by a couple centimeters.  I’m nowhere near ready though.  We haven’t decided on a name, and the homebirth supplies haven’t arrived yet!  As of tomorrow night I’m “officially” 37 weeks though, which means I can have a homebirth.  Yay!

 

18 April 2009 April 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 9:32 pm

Another nice couple of days.  Physically I’m not doing so well, but all other areas of my life are full of joy.  🙂

Yesterday Bailey and I went with Pat (a fellow unschooling mom) and her son Jack to see their horse, Nan.  I love Kamloops.  We were still within city limits, but were out in the country within minutes. 

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This is Nan.

The weather was a bit chillier than previous days, but it was still nice enough to enjoy being outside.  Bailey and Jack played various imaginative games together, and Pat and I were able to relax.

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Bailey and Jack.  Bailey is holding her doll, Taylor.

If I wasn’t such a city slicker I’d love to live out in the country.  Alas, I am rather addicted to Starbucks, sidewalks, and convenience.  😛

It was great to see Bailey and Jack interacting.  They have very different personalities, but they seem to get along well anyway.  Bailey is always searching for a kindred spirit, and I wonder if finding another child who is being raised in freedom is comforting for her.

After we got home we had a quick lunch and then had a lot of errands.  We went to my ICS appointment and then grocery shopping.  Bailey brought her doll with her in a sling that a friend lent me that I think is too small for me.  She also used a toy carseat, but it kept flipping over.  Good thing it’s not a real baby!

I was almost to the point of throwing in the towel and asking Steve to get the groceries when he got home.  I am so tired and sore these days! 

Bailey and I went to Michael’s and picked up some fabric paint so she can make a “Big Sister” T-shirt.  There were some cheap ($1.50) wooden models out front, so I bought her a little boat.

After Michael’s we went to Home Depot and got some screen.  We have a dual window fan in our bedroom that works wonderfully, but sucks little bugs into our room.  Yuck!  This summer we’re going to hot glue some screen to the outside and see if that helps. 

After that we went to Stupidstore (Superstore, lol), and then we still had to go to Costco but I was already exhausted.  Instead of giving up we went for a quick coffee break to Starbucks.  After coffee we managed Costco and I squeezed in a quick trip to Cooper’s for some fresh veggies.

When Steve got home that night he finished hanging our new bathroom shelf.  Oh man, we are never going to get our damage deposit back for this place!  We haven’t actually caused any damage per se, but we decided long ago that to make this place livable we were going to have to drill some holes in the wall and hang shelves.  We do a nice  job of it, too, but I know it will be frowned on when we move out.

Bailey went out bike riding with her friends around 7:45 p.m.  I told her to be back by 8:15 (that’s about when it gets dark).  Her friends didn’t seem to have that restriction, though.  I felt a little bad keeping her home when the rest of her friends got to keep on playing, but I think it is reasonable to have her home when it is dark, especially since she only learned to ride her bike last summer.  I’m trying to look at all my parenting decisions through the lens of radical unschooling these days, though.  Am I controlling unnecessarily?  Is there such thing as reasonable parental control?  Interesting thoughts.  I’m not agonizing over this one though.  It didn’t appear to cause Bailey any grief (she just shrugged and came inside)!

Today Steve took the car to work, so we stayed home.  Bailey did a lot of art projects.  She worked on a paint-by-numbers and built her model boat.

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Paint-by-numbers.  She’s pleased that it is just challenging enough to be fun, but not so challenging that it is frustrating.

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Her boat, Red Thunder.

Tonight we were supposed to go up to my sister’s house to see my Dad’s pictures from his recent trip to Europe.  (We can’t go to Dad’s house because he has a dog and a cat and Steve’s allergies are quite severe.)  Unfortunately my sister seems to be coming down with the flu so she had to cancel.  Instead, Dad and his girlfriend’s daughter (with whom he went on the trip) came over here.  Dad ordered pizza for us all and we had a great time viewing his pictures and hearing their stories.  Dad also brought us some Ali Oli (or Aioli) which is a garlic mayonaise that he made.  It is to die for, and is incredibly garlicky.  I’m going to smell like garlic for days!

Tomorrow will (hopefully) be restful.  We have a busy week coming up.  Steve is working a riculous amount of overtime this week, and will only have one day off.  They are switching his schedule at work, so after this week he will work 10-hour days, 4 days in a row, but then have 3 days off in a row.  Yay!

 

16 April 2009 April 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 9:45 pm

Gee… post much?  Oh well.

It has been rather busy around here.  The warmer weather is certainly making us all feel happier and more energetic.

We went to my friend’s baby shower last Friday.  The decorations were amazing!

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Just some of the decorations

It was so well organized, and there were lots of games.  The new family got nicely spoiled, too.

My feet have been so swollen lately!  My sister pointed out to me that I was getting “pitting edema,” but since my blood pressure is normal there’s really not much I can do about it.  Basically I am stuck with Memory Foam Feet, lol.  It’s so gross!  It’s a bit better now, but at the shower my sister pushed her thumb into the swollen part of my foot and when she removed her thumb the indent stayed behind!  Yuck!

My best friend was in town for Easter and on Saturday we got to visit.  The fair was in town so we went with Bailey in the afternoon.

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Bumper Cars

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Obstacle Course

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Ferris Wheel (she looks a little scared!)

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Slide.  I wish I had a better photo editing program–I would have zoomed in on her sweet smile.

That evening my friend took me to dinner.  What a great time that was!  Neither of us remember the last time it was just the two of us.  Usually we have another friend, boyfriend/husband, or one of our kids with us.

We had church on Sunday and it was my last time teaching Sunday School.  We dyed Easter Eggs, and am I ever glad there were other helpers.  I was completely useless!  I was late getting there, I could barely move, and I really had no interest in being there.  I am so ready to meet this baby.

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Bailey made some beautiful eggs!

On Monday we went with a local unschooling mom and her son to Ashcroft to hang out with another unschooling family.  (Actually, two other families.  They’re sisters, and have–I think–8 kids between them.)  It was absolutely fantastic!  I never thought I’d meet another unschooling family in or around Kamloops, and now I’ve met three!  The kids in Ashcroft are lucky enough to have never gone to school, and they are the most peaceful, gentle, loving group of kids I have ever met!  Bailey and the son of the person we caught a ride with had an absolute blast hanging out with them all day.  It was nearly 7 p.m. by the time we left, and we couldn’t believe how quickly the time had passed!

On Tuesday Bailey and I stayed home and had a lazy day.  I actually fell asleep on the couch in the afternoon for a whole 3.5 hours!  Poor Bailey.  I kept trying to wake up, but found that I simply couldn’t.  It was a boring day for her, and it showed in her behaviour that night.  It was particularly frustrating for Steve, and he and I ended up having a big philosophical discussion that night in bed. 

Steve is very insistent that Bailey have a strict bedtime, and also has trouble with the whole “obedience” thing.  When he asks her to do something (like clean the hamster’s cage or get ready for bed) he expects her to jump to it right away.  I pointed out to him that we don’t have those expectations for ourselves.  In fact we have a family chore chart that regularly gets ignored, lol.  (It’s okay, though.  I made the chart with the idea that it would only be a reminder of what needs to be done and who volunteered to do it.  If it doesn’t get done one week we simply keep it as our chore for the next week.) 

He seemed to understand, and we explored why he felt so strongly about the bedtime thing.  We think if we had a bigger home where we all had more space we wouldn’t care so much about Bailey staying up later.  Really, we send her to bed at 8:30, but there is absolutely no expectation that she go to sleep at that time.  We just need to have alone time and couple time.

As for the instant obedience thing, well, he’s working on it.  His dad was quite abusive growing up, and he also had the disadvantage of growing up in a fundamentalist christian home.  So yeah, lots of baggage.

Yesterday and today have been very difficult for me physically.  I almost feel like the baby wants to drop.  My pelvis hurts a lot, and so does my lower back.  And the Braxton-Hicks contractions are back with a vengeance.  😦  Poor me.  Oh well, not much longer.

Today Bailey and I went to the Attachment Parenting group in the morning.  Then we all went to the dump.  Steve managed to stuff an entire twin size mattress (extra long!) into the trunk of our Saturn!  Too funny.  Then we went to Zellers and bought some things for our home.  We got a cupboard for over the toilet and a set of plastic drawers for the baby’s things.  Oh, and we bought a package of disposable Pampers, size 1.  Squeee!  They are so small!  We are actually planning on trying Elimination Communication, but we’d like to have some back up diapers anyway.

This evening we went to the Kamloops Law Courts for Law Day.  They had tours of the Sheriff’s area (including the holding cells and the transport vehicles), and had a mock trial to watch.  The Empire had Luke Skywalker on trial for murder (for blowing up the Death Star).  Unfortunately for the Rebels, Luke got convicted and sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole for 25 years.

…and now I have one more thing crossed off my list.  Make blog post?  Check!

 

10 April 2009 April 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 11:16 am

It has been a  busy few days! 

I did get an email back from Bio-Dad.  I don’t think he really “gets it.”  I wish I could afford a lawyer.  He says he’ll avoid having Bailey in his car “within reason” and that when she visits him they’ll take public transit. 

Bailey went to my Mom’s overnight Tuesday to Wednesday.  Mom was helping me out because I had a really bad night of insomnia Monday night after hearing from Bio-Dad.  3 hours of sleep!

Wednesday was Steve’s birthday.  Bailey came home in the late afternoon, and she had baked and decorated a cake for him at my Mom’s house. 

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Yummy cake!  And a crazy amount of sprinkles, too.  🙂

When Steve got off work we all went to the movies.  We had some coupons from cereal boxes and decided to see Monsters vs. Aliens.  Unfortunately I didn’t read the fine print carefully enough and it turned out that the coupons were ineligible for 3D movies!  When the clerk pointed that out to us there was a big line-up behind us and I was feeling pressured to make a quick decision.  Instead of leaving and doing something else we decided to cut down on the amount of snacks we bought and just pay to see the damn movie.  $60.00 (!) later we were in the theatre.  Essentially we spent twice what I had budgeted for Steve’s birthday.  It’s a good thing his GST cheque was a lot more than I had anticipated.  It’s funny though… if we had gone out to dinner and spent $60.00 I wouldn’t have felt as ripped off.  Anyway, we all enjoyed the movie, and were feeling considerably happier once it was over.

Bailey has been riding her bike a lot lately.  The weather has been beautiful these past few days!  She even went on a quick bike ride with some neighbourhood kids the other day.  That was a big milestone.  I’ll admit I was quite nervous, but I (hopefully) didn’t show it.  For goodness sakes… this is the very same neighbourhood I grew up in, and I really do believe that the world is just as safe as it was when I was a kid!  I wonder if my parents worried as much as I do.

On Thursday we went to Steve’s mom’s house.  Then Bailey went with her Grandma L. to Merritt.  They visited her Auntie T., who is due in 9 days!  they also went to a fish hatchery and saw some baby horses. 

Steve and I went to a thrift store to see about buying me some maternity clothes for this warmer weather.  I found a pair of cream-coloured capris.  Then we went for lunch (eating out is our worst habit!)  at Tony Roma’s.  We were pleasantly surprised by the reasonable prices and the amazing quality of the food.  Including a generous tip for the excellent service we received, we only spent about $3 or $4 more than we would have spent at McDonald’s.

After lunch we got some photocopying done, checked out baby books at Chapter’s (I have my eye on a Peter Rabbit one), and then bought some Easter treats for Bailey.  We relaxed at home until Steve left for rapier practice, and then I was alone until Bailey finally got home at 9:30 p.m.

I had a really rough night last night due to severe pubic bone pain.  I think it’s time for another chiropractor appointment. 

We are off to Baby Easton’s baby shower now.  I think I will put together a small pampering package for the new mommy.

 

5 April 2009 April 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — keekahoney @ 9:34 pm

I’ll admit it: I’m a big passive-aggressive baby.  I ended up out of the house for most of yesterday, trying to avoid dealing with Bio-Dad in person if he just stopped by.  Of course if he called I would have answered.

Bailey and I went to Michael’s in the morning.  They were having a family fun event (read: ad for Crayola).  Then we went for lunch and popped by Toys R Us to pick up something for our friends and their new baby.

We went home for a little while, and I wrote an email to Bio-Dad.  See?  I’m a Big Chicken.  Oh, I should be more compassionate with myself though.  I am taking steps to help myself feel more comfortable with confrontation.  Here’s what I wrote (it’s kind of long but it’s in italics so you can scroll down past it if you want.):

Hi [Bio-Dad],
 
Hopefully while you are at your parents you are able to check your email.  I have wanted to talk to you for awhile now, but I don’t want to use your cell phone number without your permission, and I don’t know if you have email where you are.
 
The last time you were in town I was happy that you and Bailey had such a great visit.  About a week later though, Bailey came to me in tears and told me that you were drinking and driving while she was with you.  Bailey told me that you had at least two beer (she thinks possibly three) and some clear liquid in a square glass bottle.  She also told me that she has seen a bottle of mouthwash in your car, and she believes you use this to mask the smell of alcohol on your breath.
 
Knowing this, if I continue to allow Bailey to ride in a vehicle driven by you I will be guilty of child endangerment.  Bailey is absolutely heartbroken about your decision to drink and drive, and tells me she doesn’t feel safe being with you.  I want the two of you to have a relationship still, and when I told her this she said that maybe in the future you could visit her here at our apartment or on our lawn.  I have no problem with this, but I understand that it might feel awkward.  I am also willing to allow a visit at your parent’s house, but I must insist that they know the reason for the supervised visit.  (I have not told them anything yet.)  A third option is that I could drop Bailey off at a restaurant or playground, let you visit for a couple/few hours, and then pick her up.
 
There has been some talk of her wanting to see you in Vancouver.  I am not comfortable with this, but I am willing to explore options that would keep Bailey safe.  Likely this would involve my letting your parents know about why I am not allowing Bailey to ride in a vehicle driven by you anymore.
 
I hope you understand my reasons for this.  As I said, I do not want to keep you from seeing her, and I hope that my proposed solutions are fair and reasonable.  Bailey is, I think, very angry about your drinking, and it comes up often in conversation.  I do my best to let her know that you love her very much, and I never say anything bad about you to her.
 
As someone who used to be very close to you, and as the mother of your daughter, I am asking you to please examine how your drinking is negatively affecting your life.  I recently watched the video of Bailey when she was a baby, and I remember what a truly excellent father you are.  Please consider getting yourself some help.  I don’t want to see your relationship with Bailey destroyed.
 
I apologize for doing this in an email.  My biggest weakness is fear of confrontation, and while I would prefer to be courageous enough to do this face-to-face or over the phone, I am simply not there yet.
 
If you wish to discuss this further please feel free to email me back, or phone me.
 
Bevin

I read it to my sister over the phone before I sent it, and I couldn’t do it without crying. 

After I emailed it Bailey and I did some grocery shopping.  It was getting to be late afternoon and we still hadn’t heard from her dad.  While at Safeway we got a break-open when we paid, and won a hat and a water bottle.  Bailey was so excited that she was dancing!  It was really cute.

After supper we heard from Bailey’s grandparents.  They were just coming back into town from a day in Kelowna and thought they’d stop by to pick up Bailey and were hoping to keep her overnight so she could visit her dad.  After I hung up with them Bailey advised me that she didn’t feel comfortable with the plan.  By that time her grandparents were outside waiting (they had called me from the highway) so I went outside and explained the situation to them.  I hadn’t intended on telling them about the drinking and driving but it all spilled out.

I’m actually really glad I told them.  I should have known they’d understand and be on my side.  They helped me out many times when I was married to Bio-Dad, including watching Bailey for me the day I had to go get him out of jail for drinking and driving.

His parents were very understanding that Bailey only wanted to stay for a couple of hours, and told me that they would talk to him about my decision to not let him drive with Bailey anymore.  What a relief!  They think he has a personality disorder, and say they have been working hard with him over the past year or so.

Today Bailey went with her grandparents to see some newborn lambs.  Right after that we went to see our friends’ new baby.

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Bailey holding Baby Easton, 3 days old!

Oh man, what a sweet, tiny baby!  Mom is doing amazingly well, considering she had a C-Section.

Bailey was fading fast afterwards, but Steve had promised to take her swimming.  We knew she would be out of sorts today after seeing her Dad yesterday, so we had resolved to be extra compassionate and patient, but we were really struggling.  Finally we got a bit of food into her a headed up to the pool with her friend.  Steve and I sat on the sidelines and watched because he was having an allergic reaction from our friends’ cat.  While we sat there we went through some baby names.  (Nebuchadnezzar sound okay?)

After swimming Bailey was feeling even worse.  I needed all hands on deck because we had to get supper made, and I was expecting company that evening so I wanted the home to be tidy.  Bailey was pushing our buttons, and Steve and I weren’t coping very well with it.  She eventually calmed down though, and so did we.

What a challenging weekend!  All in all, though, I’d say I dealt with everything quite well.  And one more thing is off my to-do list!  Talk to Bio-Dad about his behaviour?  Check!